Thursday, 6 October 2011

distracted, disappeared, but still here

i have been poor at being in touch with the world, with most people that know me recently.  e-mails (both at work, and at home) have festered in my in-box, and taunted me each time i check for new ones, but never quite get round to replying to old ones.

i've been distracted by a couple of things - readdressing personal demons; changes in my work life (new job) following some difficult times.  it's all happened rather quickly, and though i am now today finally happy and relieved to have been offered this new job, i am sad to be leaving connect - it's a wrench to be leaving somewhere that has become like family (albeit, as a colleague said to me today, a dysfunctional one at times - like with all families).  there's also been some major upheaval for some close friends.  that has taken a lot of time and emotional energy, which i have felt happy to be able to devote, and happy to be the one turned to. f.nally, i've also started volunteering on a helpline - just 6 hours a week, but that feels like a lot to fit in with work and home life, continuing as though they are inevitable. 

also, in the past few weeks, i have joined twitter. fascinating, and mind expanding, but with the power to baffle, bemuse and bog down in an instant.

this has all meant i've neglected other things, though.  more than anything, the past month has taught me that a combination of being depressed and dealing with a couple of other issues take up a lot more capacity than i realised - i've taken to sleeping in my niece's room, as my own bed is covered in stuff that really needs tidying away.  neglected e-mails jab at me form the inbox, as i tweet to save palestine/afghanistan/yemen/the world.

i need to regain some balance. i think after tonight, that will start to happen - actually, already today, it has started.   i have blogs that need writing (about work, about other stuff), pictures that need sharing, but most of all, people that need contacting.

to any friends who read this and are waiting to hear back from me - i am sorry - am, really - and i am getting on the case. i am sorting it. i am stepping up to the mark. so, keep your eyes on your inbox.  i may have disappeared, but really, i'm still here.

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