Friday, 29 October 2010

Photos of Ramadan in America

No blog from me tonight - just a link to the most simply wonderful photos of various Muslims during this year's Ramadan.  They were taken by a couple who visited 30 different mosques during Ramadan - one for each day.

I love that the photos are so candid, and the simplicity of some makes them beautiful to me.  Most of all, though, I love that they've captured so many aspects of what the month is about.  I hope you like them too.

30 mosques in 30 days - photos

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Land Far Away

Poetic Pilgrimage's music video debut.  Watch, listen and love. xxx

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Sunday, 24 October 2010

a few to get me started

i know - it's nearly 2... where does the time go... ok, so i know i should be in bed, and actually intended an early(ish) night tonight ahead of a full day tomorrow, but...well, i got to doing some stuff with my mum (statement for insurance, after some idiot hit her car with a van, and dragged off the bumper, then didn't even stop!!), so didn't have dinner til late, so sat down and got online. got minorly involved in a debate over racism - institutional

- - - - -

I'd written two more paragraphs, and uploaded 6 photos when the computer crashed. i now don't even remember most of what i'd written. and it took about half an hour to upload the photos anyway, so not starting that again. sorry. what started as a nice happy-despite-tiredness blog is now just a bit of a blip instead. i may attempt it again tomorrow. for now, i can't be bothered. going to bed to dream of unnecessarily violent responses to the next talk talk operative on the street who offers me 'free broadband'.

Saturday, 23 October 2010

8 hours

So, I'm typing this from bed. And that's not like 'tea and toast, lights on, music blaring' bed. Nah, it's more like 'lights off, kind of touch typing, music whispering, go to bed soon as i'm done' bed.  I'm as shocked as anyone to find myself here, in bed, with the prospect of not just up to but at least eight hours of sleep ahead of me!  I'm not sure that my heart can take the excitement.  I've not kept a diary for years, so can't actually remember the last time I slept that long, but it sure as heck wasn't any time in the near past (that I can recall, anyways, and that really is a significant factor).

I guess there's a number of reasons my body finally beat me into submission.  The past few weeks (months, years, life) have consisted of consistent lack of sleep.  Hell, I'm so bad at getting my sleep, if someone were to try sleep deprivation as a form of torture on me, all they'd get is excessive giggling, and a wildly fluctuating emotional state.  They'd definitely get no answers, though would be unlikely to believe the truth that I just couldn't remember anything!  But more on my pathologically horrendous memory another time. Let's focus on the (lack of) sleep thing for now.

I don't remember ever getting that much sleep on a regular basis.  Or at least, I don't recall ever making a habit of getting to bed on time.  I'm nocturnal - generally I hate having to be asleep any time before 3am, and even beyond.  Maybe this is why I spent so much time at Uni - freedom to be as night-loving as I wanted to be, and no-one yelling for me to get up in the morning.  Well, for the most part anyways -  Financial Accounting Lectures in my first year were 9.15 on a Monday morning - the most painful start to the week that I can ever imagine.  Anyone who showed up late had to go to the front of the class and recite the definition for depreciation. 'Depreciation is the reduction in value of an item due to time, obsolescence and blah!'.  Don't let the fact that I no longer remember it fool you - I had that definition down pat back then!

So anyways, going to bed has never been my strongest point.  It just feels like there are way too many interesting things to do rather than be asleep.  I have masses of pictures that I took at uni that are time-marked about 2am, poems written around that time, and diary entries that scrawl on for pages, with loads of references like 'tonight (well technically, last night)' - never great to be a pedant writing a diary about the past day once it'd gone midnight.

Problem is, with the whole 9-5 thing, being nocturnal doesn't really work so well.  In fact, I'd say it maybe doesn't work at all.  And yet I persist - despite good intentions, there always seems to be something urgent to start or continue at just gone midnight.  Plus, that's when I finally get my time - whe the rest of the house is asleep and I can finally do things without the hassle of calls and distractions.   The result of all this, though, is basically constant fatigue, and quite probably a number of other less obvious side effects too.  I reckon my atrocious memory is linked to the lack of sleep, as are my oft-occurring word finding difficulties, frequent ADD symptoms, tendency towards tangents, and general difficulty living in the world that doesn't exist inside my own head...

So yes, reasons for finally succumbing to my bed early(ish) for once (I realise now I've been writing this so long, I'll no longer be getting the 8 hours - I knew it was too good to last!) - the fall-asleep-in-your-manager's-face kind of tiredness really has got to stop.  I could feel myself actually not being able to focus anymore, and the difficulties of holding a normal conversation..!  Also, I've just found that the past few weeks, averaging 4 hours a night, I've become incredibly emotionally labile - any kind of minor level stress became a catastrophe, and for a few weeks I lived in a world of impending doom and tragedy.  Luckily I survived and lived to tell the tale.  But I think it was just one dip too many for my mind and body.  I attempted earlier nights this week, and Monday and Tuesday succeeded.  But then 'going out' got into the equation and a good night's sleep just comepletely jumped ship.  So tonight I'm hauling it back in, and hoping I haven't left it too long...


NB - I've started dosing as I draw this to a close - always a sign that sleep is impatient to get a look in!

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

No point, just felt like writing (unedited)

I've had one of those days today where I've decided a whole load of things. I have a habit of doing a lot of my decision making internally, so I'll just come out with something like 'ok, so I'll be moving to Scotland next year', which tends to sound a bit random and out of the blue to those around me, but has usually been the reuslt of a long bit of internal dialogue.

Anyway, the result of one of the decisions (save more) is that I plan to be in more over the next 10 months or so.  Rather than spend all that time watching youtube videos and trying to perfect my a cappella imitation of the guitar riff in Hotel California, I figured I'd take it as a time to hopefully become a bit more creative.  I'm planning to finally start teaching myself to play my Freecycle Violin with its Freecycle bow, and also play a bit more guitar, and maybe actually learn a bit more techniqe than jittery chord changes and skipping over the 'difficult' bits.  I'm hoping also to write a bit more - I think I've gotten a bit lazy of late, or maybe just caught up with work or life or what have you, and just kind of put writing on the back burner, or maybe even taken it off the stove altogether. 

I'm just attempting to finish off a letter to my best friend (does that sound too five year-old-ish? oh well, I don't care if it does) - I started it back in August...we do have a habit of taking a *little while* with our letters, but I guess the slowness is part of the joy of writing them...  So anyways, the past few days I've got really into it, writing pages on a train journey, and even on the bus to work this morning.  And it's made me realise how much I love just the actual act of writing - both the physical act of putting words on a page and just letting words tumble from my brain into any kind of readble form. Hence this post.

Maybe, though, if I'm going to be writing regular posts which don't really talk about anything at all, maybe I should change the name of this to: Wasi - inanity to insanity...somehwere in between... Hmmm.