Monday, 30 November 2009

Listening to Crack The Shutters, reading Lil & Silver Star

Insatiable this
need-want-craving-obsession
to get every thought, every idea, every movement and memory
across
to share, in flowing couplets, or stilted rhymes
in reams, over pages, or just a line
And yet the desire remains
unmatched
by the ability to relate
So the fever of the passion felt
remains
just that - only experienced, unshared
Every scribble, scrawl, printed or penned
desperate
to relay the intensity that pulls everything crashing together
a million images at once impacting and
exploding
through every corner of my mind
starbursts and sunsparks at the
sight
of a photo that recreates, not imitates
or a turn of phrase that reaches in
and twists me wrong-side out and upside down
But how in the world to assimilate and
convey
exactly how each ignites inside beyond fathoms
each sends me soaring, propelled by awe, suspended by the wonder
How to make you know what I know,
feel just what it all makes me feel,
understand what I'm trying to tell you?
Impossible.

Listening to Little Dragon

each time I think I've reached resolution
got to some sort of standing place in my head
i realise, too late, those guiding lines I let go
are still so very necessary
so I'm left, dizzy and spinning
in my attempts to go it alone, or perhaps
in the aftermath of opening myself
to too much newness all at once
my heart sirges with each discovered twist
every novel revelation or interpretation
but my head - overloaded, this excitement fatal to rationale
short-fusing the only to deal with this mass fusion,
more, mass confusion

floating, spent, back down to conformity
but even so, still compelled to snatch at
each shiny new idea on offer

Saturday, 21 November 2009

And a bit of auto-writing for November



--Slips & scribbles stuffed into diaries--


Take me
up and away
Let’s float high on ebullient inconsequence
Make disregard our means to an end
Escape our end to all meaningless
Shutter take it down put it away
shut it out anything to escape
No night too dark no way too narrow
Any shout let it out release or risk
the explosion building up inside.
Take it apart with your own two hands
No one else will do it for you.
Better accept it’s up to you, kiddo,
no hero, no lone ranger to come riding out of the sunset,
except perhaps to pick up his hat
which he forgot in his haste to get out.
Oh wot laughs!

Shelter shimmering shameless nights.
Altering alternate overview overclouded
upbraided unnested from its comfort perch.
Brought out and made to face th emusic
Face up to its responsibilities
Take it down a notch or two

Pause - gasp for breath.

Overwhelming overbearing incident accident
subsume human thought
devoid of warmth
descants of fresh pain screaming in the silent night
What tuneful despair
How lustily we laugh at their petty sighs
their unfounded fears
making light, making little of what explodes
from their hearts, from their minds
The terrible terrains
unchartered truly by any man
no man at all knows the truth
Gets close only in feeling,
undefined emotion
scrabbling for a foothold
Anything to save from falling
into that abyss of unknown
that pit that mocks our illusion of safety.

Damn you, sir!
Pedalling your petty truths, penny lies,
betrayal tainting all you tout.
Go then. Leave this place and forget my name.

Soothe soothe soft and calm
beware of so much vexatious beration.
Be rational and soft in your approach.
Let there be love and light and kindness
heart take over anger’s fearful brow.
Soothe this row.
Rate it low and return
empty handed open pocketed
packaged penalised
no penalty too great for the grave crime committed here today
foul treason, man, and no mistake.
Truly it were a disgrace to this house,
to your very name.
Fie! for shame on you.
Banish yourself hence and do not bother to be seen again
or it should be a sorry and final sight.

Tackle it down to the ground
Forgive, only because you can,
it is within your power
and there is no greater power than that.

What is this thing?
It does not soar, nor is it jubilant.
Rather, low, it shakes and heaves,
laden and lumpen
Mishapen and abhorent
to the eye and ear and all senses
that have power to perceive it
How they wish they had not.

And I? What of I?
Nothing really in particular that I can think of,
that comes to mind.
Distress built up, calcified,
needs to be banished somehow
righted before it takes too fast a hold
and may never be safely dislodged.
Senseless sadness overwhelms
overflows spills out no control
only feeling.
Worthless
Useless
Pointless
Lost.
Hoping for hearing that leaves me
dazzled shining new
uplifted
hopeful
saved.

A couple dusted off for October

(Sorry they're a little late...)


---Slip---

Melancholia grips

Its favourite stance

When it catches me unawares,

Wavering.


Goes in for the choke hold

Somehow misses,

Snatches only my resolution.

Leaves me a pathetic apathetic

Sole denizen

of this nowhere place.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



~If we hadn't met~


The world would be an inordinately sadder place

If it should have been that we had not met.


Obviously, we'd have known nothing about it,

Gone on with our lives,

Spent them with others who wouldn't have been quite perfect for us,

But, in the event, worked quite well enough.

No, we'd have been pretty much unaware.


But the universe would've felt the loss of what could've been;

House-tumbling tremors at its mournful sighs.

The angels, looking down, would've shaken their heads,

Exchanged pitying glances as they shrugged wings,

Solar eclipse gestures at the foolishness of Man.


Lucky then, in our blissful ignorance,

That we stumbled on each other

And decided to stick it out.


And when we think how, no matter what our hearts' desolation

If we were to ever go our own ways,

It wouldn't be the end of the world,

Maybe, just maybe, we should think again


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~